Healing Stress Through Your Relationships
Relationship Therapy
Women today lead extremely stressful lives. Many women balance career, home and children, and care for elderly parents – essentially doing three full-time jobs.
As a result, it’s a fact that many women today may suffer from low energy, low interest, sadness and anxiety.
If left untreated, these issues can lead to clinical depression, anxiety and marital distress. Emotional self-care is critical to overall well-being. The best analogy for self-care is the oxygen mask on the air plane. We’re instructed to place the mask over the adult’s face before placing it over the child’s face. Our most intimate relationships can be a source of healing from stress. Those relationships have the potential to bring us energy, joy and healing. But most couples don’t have the skills to participate in a conscious, healing marriage.
Communicate in a Healthy Way
Childhood wounds, as well as wounds that occur in relationships are also huge contributors to women’s stress.
Seeking productive solutions and practicing safe communication can be as healthy as giving yourself oxygen. The information in the article is not intended to substitute for the medical expertise and advice of your healthcare provider. We encourage you to discuss any decisions about treatment or care with an appropriate healthcare provider.
Tending Your Relationship Helps it Flourish
Relationships are much like gardens.
Pick a Fertile Plot
It matters where you plant. Seeds struggle to germinate and survive in rocky soil or in areas where there is not enough sunlight. So it is with relationships (dating, marriage, friendships, parent/child, sibling, etc.). If there is constant conflict or too many stressful times, or if there is not enough shared fun, it will be hard, if not impossible, to grow a connection between two people.
Pick relationship “plots” where you can build on the ground of commonality. Differences might attract, but they don’t sustain a relationship.
Prepare the Soil
The ground must be prepared to host the seeds. Communication is the best tool available for preparing the soil of any long-lasting relationship. Share your thoughts, feelings, goals, and ideas. A wise person once said, “If you want to be understood, seek first to understand.” Listening is vital to healthy communication. Make direct eye contact. Don’t formulate mental responses while the other person is talking. Be willing to listen with both ears, an open mind, and a closed mouth.
Plant with Enthusiasm
Yes, gardening can be enjoyable and relaxing, but it also can be hard work. Likewise, relationships require enthusiastic commitment if they are to flourish and last. They need an investment of both time and energy in order to produce results. Neglecting the garden or your relationships is simply not an option if you expect them to grow and bloom.
Deal with Weeds and Pests
Weeds are popping up between the rows of vegetables, crowding out the plants. Aphids, beetles, and grubs are gnawing on the leaves and roots, and rabbits are eating off the flower heads. No faithful gardener would ever stand for this!
Likewise, you must deal with the pests and weeds in relationships. Conflict is inevitable in any relationships, even healthy ones. Avoiding conflict is not the answer. The silent treatment will cause a relationship to die on the vine, as will damaging the other person with hurtful words, accusations, and violence. Conflicts must be resolved for relationships to move forward.
There is no shame in seeking outside objective help–like with a relationship therapist–to resolve conflict and learn how to get back to growing an abundant relationship.
Feed and Water
What you feed will grow; what you starve will die. This simple principle applies to gardening as well as to relationships. You can produce a hearty relationship crop by watering and feeding it with trust, respect, acceptance, and forgiveness.
